Day 17: Numbers 14-21

Rebellion

COMMAND:

Only do not rebel against the Lord. And do not be afraid of the people of the land, because we will swallow them up. Their protection is gone but the Lord is with us. Do not be afraid of them.

-          Numbers 14:9

I always wondered how much it was applicable in the vision of how rebellion works. Am I rebelling when I don’t ask for my leader’s permission for some of my actions even when I’m not doing anything wrong? Nevertheless, I admit that sometimes I am very clumsy about my opinion when people around me talk about negative things about my leader when I know they’re actually right. It is somehow clear in the Bible that when Moses went against the will of the Lord (Numbers 20:1-13), he was automatically denied of the promise land. Will I be denied as well of my “promise land” upon recognizing my leader’s abuse of authority?

Nevertheless, tonight I know my stand. I can never go against my leader when it comes to the vision and to the ministry that the Lord has given me. On the other hand, because Nanay Sophe is very close to my heart, I should keep on praying for her to be strengthened and be justly anointed as my leader and a leader of my church with a right heart.

Also, I have to keep in mind the distinction of people around me with God. Leaders are leaders. They are being used by God. When things get confusing, I also pray and consult the Word. All the time, that is.

PROMISE:

The Lord said to Moses,” Do not be afraid of him, for I have handed him over to you, with his whole army and his land….”

-          Numbers 21:34

WARNING:

“Aaron will be gathered to his people. He will not enter the land I give the Israelites, because both of you rebelled against my command at the waters of Meribah.

-          Numbers 20:24

A Test of a Cell Group Leader

For two years of leading cell groups now, I still haven’t chosen my disciples. Reason for this is because; I’m usually the weather type of a leader. I get myself back in and in sometime I still manage to pull myself out of the fire.

A few months before, as I blogged about this, I seem to have a lot of questions that turned into doubts about the vision and the church. I’ve been stumbled down because of the human flaws I can see around me but all my questions were then answered by God Himself.

So I went back in, this time having a stronger grip on the Vision. I now see the worth of having to complete my 12 disciples which many may not understand yet. I now desire in my heart forming my own close cell group but my problem was my old members. As I left the Vision, I seem to have left them behind as well. I needed to start new cells to meet my goal.

I started winning high school students, by myself as a challenge, entering classrooms and sharing the gospel. I now have two open cells in BCNHS, one open cell in PSHS (my old cell group) and one mixed open cell as well. Because I knew I had that desire, in a month I already have 26 members all in all.

So I’m very happy that the Lord is really helping me with my goal

But today, I’ve been tested, big time!

We had our One-Day Ignite Retreat today in the center. Out of those 26 members, I expected 8 of them to attend. I prayed a lot for them. I even asked my Christian friends to pray for them as well. I woke up with the strong wind. When I arrived in the center, I’ve been told that we don’t have classes because our city’s signal leveled up to #3 so I thought that was a good sign. But no one came, not one in those 26 youths….

I decided to just attend the ignite myself but I’ve been very depressed. Constantly asking the Lord why? How can they have such little faith because of the typhoon?

A few times I considered quitting that I really can’t do this, that I’m a failure and all. But of course, the Holy Spirit would always help me on times like this. My friends helped a lot too.

I completely understood that the Lord is testing my patience and faith. I don’t have to expect my members to have established within themselves the loyalty they must have for me as their leader considering the fact that we only started our relationship last month. Then I truly discerned on God’s time and trusted on Him.

And in that point in time, I knew my biggest reason of depression is because of compromise. It is true that we have to obey our leaders but God knows I did my best on my cell members. I put a lot of prayer and sacrifice for them to know the Word but having not to convince them to attend either the Ignite Retreat or the Encounter God Retreat wouldn’t mean I failed in meeting God’s expectations. I know in my heart that I’m doing my best to please Him. People’s way of looking at things that I have not done must not turn me down. I just have to pray, pray and pray and stay faithful and fruitful and God will soon reward me of my efforts.

This vision, as the Lord has revealed is not for the church or for anyone but for Him alone, thus I must only consider whether I pleased Him or not.

God’s time is perfect, thus, I will depend on Him alone.