the dream date is set (regardless of the surprise act haha XD)

jake duque: oi
jake duque: kamusta naman?
BUZZ!!!
JA: oh at OL n nmn tinataguan mo
jake duque: ahh wala yoq lang magpakita s iba hehe
JA: bkt?
jake duque: yoq ng maraming kausap tinatamad aq ee
JA: ako din ee
JA: haha kidding
jake duque: yah rayt
jake duque: well first day of being a twr member eh ang sakit s likod haha
JA: kahapon?
JA: kmsta nmn?
jake duque: yep
JA: nagrecord record kn?
jake duque: ok lng saya
jake duque: dpa s monday ako magrecord ee haha
jake duque: kc review q p material
JA: ah so kelan kita maririnig?
jake duque: cguro next saturday
jake duque: pero tanong q p
JA: yey haha
jake duque: nyeh
JA: magbigay k nga ng song n pwde pang contempo
jake duque: pero eshh ang sakit s mata ng work q kahapon kaharap q coputer haha
JA: about nature
JA: bumili k ng salamin mo
jake duque: madami aning claseng song?
jake duque: la pq pera ee
JA: oo nga iniisip ko din un e
JA: hiramin mo muna ung akin
JA: pang ballet
jake duque: hmm xure
jake duque: well contempo pangsayaw ba?
JA: oo
JA: contempo ballet
JA: puro joey ayala naiisip ko
JA: parang common nmn n kasi
jake duque: hmm waw thats hard
JA: oo nga e
jake duque: only hope nlng haha
JA: nature ee
jake duque: nyek anu kea un
JA: haha puro tlg joey ayala
JA: e tinulugan ko lng un nung sining
JA: esh
jake duque: haha umalis yata q nung time n u
jake duque: wala akong inatenan n session ee haha
JA: gabi un nung bday ko
jake duque: wala tlaga 2log ako nun
JA: galing ng PHSA
JA: nakakaiyak sa sobrang galing haha lol
jake duque: oww
jake duque: keii
JA: haha
jake duque: ang init ngai nakakaasaar
JA: oo nga
jake duque: prang ewan ang humidity
jake duque: jalala
JA: ayoko n magaral
jake duque: apai manen?
JA: ngaun n nga lang magbakaxon rami pang gagawin haha
JA: well joke lng
jake duque: haha tlga lng huh argg
jake duque: thou shall not be lazy pero im super lazy padin
JA: ok lng yan bsta hndi palagi
jake duque: oo nga buti nga ee
JA: o db'
jake duque: hehe masama padin un
JA: haha oo nga
jake duque: ok lng un oi kunin mu ung pera q ahh
JA: kelan b
jake duque: txt mu c mum
JA: la akong lowd
jake duque: edi paload ka
jake duque:
JA: wala akong pera haha
jake duque: 10php lng eshh
JA: oh d ikaw n lng haha
jake duque: panung ako ee wala akong fone tska sau papadala un ee
JA: sauce
JA: geh bukas
jake duque: ok hirap ahh
JA: ng?
jake duque: hirap pasunurin
JA: sauce
jake duque: oh?
JA: oo n oo n
jake duque: prang ayaw mu ahh
JA: d nu
jake duque: wehh
JA: oi hanapan mo n ko ah
jake duque: hanapan ng?
JA: nung kanta
jake duque: ahh pang ballet tlga tapos nature? ok ok
JA: opo
jake duque: waw eww
JA:
jake duque: haha d aq ganun katanda
JA: hahah
JA: kasi sabi nung friends nung naguusap kami
jake duque: same age lng tau
jake duque: anu?
JA: ah pano b ung pgkakasabi..
JA: bsta
JA: kasi sabi ko d ko alam manlambing something
jake duque: go lng
JA: tapos sabi gummit lng ng po at opo ok n un
JA: hahah
jake duque: yes boss haha
JA: haha
JA: gayahin nga kita
jake duque: go lng hee
JA: cge
jake duque: under ako sau kea boss kita ahhaha
JA: kht au
jake duque: ohh?
JA: nu pinakamalaoit n beach dito?
jake duque: huh?
JA: pinakamalapit
jake duque: ahh ok uhmm wala b s pangasinan?
JA: malayo un e
JA: ung tipong 1hr lng n pwde kong puntahan haha
jake duque: ahh wala
jake duque: bat anung meron?
JA: as in wala?
JA: gusto ko lng tlga makakita
jake duque: wala.pra san ba?
JA: gusto ko nga makakita
jake duque: never ka pa b nakakita g beach?
JA: in almost 2years
JA: ata or 1
JA: pag nagbyabyahe un lng
jake duque: ahh ok
JA: gusto ko matouch ung shore
jake duque: waw senti
JA: seryoso haha
jake duque: nahh
jake duque: cnu kasama mu?
JA: ikaw haha
jake duque: nyek walang beach d2 puro bundok d2 ee
JA: magtataong ako
JA: malaymo
jake duque: cge go lng
JA: titingnan lng nmn e d nmn magswim
jake duque: onga naman
jake duque: try mu tapos punta tau haha
JA: sa agoo daw
jake duque: why did i feel n meron dun haha
jake duque: well wala pa 100 faredun hehe
JA: oo 69 daw
jake duque: haha naks
JA: sakto one hr ang byahwe
JA: jake punta tauu
jake duque: kelan tau punta?
JA: after ng exam ko, mo
jake duque: haha lets try if we have money o k
JA: wag n try, ipon tau
jake duque: cge hon
JA: yey
jake duque: haha get away natin un
JA: magkano kaya?
JA: geh d n ko sasama sa carne
JA: un n lng haha
jake duque: ahh idunno hehe
JA: hmmm
JA: 69
JA: 150 fair
JA: 300
JA: plus fud
jake duque: 700php
JA: uhh
JA: wow! taung dalawa lng un
JA: w8
JA: sabay n lng tau sa blockm8s
JA: para free fud n hahaha
JA: pupunta din sila e
jake duque: ayaw mu maging alone
JA: hiwalay n lng tau after
JA: nagyayaya n din sila e oh
JA: sakto kasi fiesta daw sakanila dun
jake duque: anu un iiwanan muq?
jake duque: eww wag nlng
JA: hindi nu
jake duque: anu pala?
JA: bsta bsta ipon kn 250
JA: sakto n un haha
JA: at wala k p b id?
jake duque: wala ee
jake duque: mga kelan kea un/
jake duque: ?
jake duque: dapat monday un
JA: kelan b exam mo?
JA: kami 17-20
jake duque: ahh edi mga 29 nlng un ang last monday dv
JA: d b pwdeng 22?
jake duque: may clase pq nun
JA: ay cge cge
JA: edi d n tlga tau sasabay sa block
jake duque: 26 ang tapos ng clase q ee
JA: cge 29
jake duque: okay
JA: dalin kon cam ko nun haha
jake duque: haha tlga lng huh
JA: oo, sana mahanap ko n charger nun haha
jake duque: san kea un banda s agoo kc nakapunta nq dun ee
JA: o ako din feeling ko
jake duque: anung feeling mu?
JA: na nakarating n ko du haha
JA: dun dumadaan paputa samin e
jake duque: hehe ako as in nakatungtong nq dun ee wee
JA: oh edi alam mo n
jake duque: pero dq lam kung san ang beach dun oh
JA: pupunta nmn kami ata aftr exam dun
jake duque: anung meron?
JA: fiesta nga nila charm, nagiinvite xa
jake duque: aj ok
jake duque: ingat
JA: kung may pera ako pupunta ako haha
JA: hirap magipon rami inabayaran
jake duque: tlga lng ah hheehe
jake duque: sana sumweldo aq s TWR hehe
JA: haha blis nmn
jake duque: well sana tlga hehe
JA: bsta ipon n tau ha
JA: sana lng makaipon ako haha
jake duque: yes boss hehe
jake duque: paalis nq hin la nq pera ee haha
jake duque: pero kunin mu ung pera ko ahh
JA: haha nagtataka nga ko bat k nagol e
JA: opo
JA: haha
jake duque: hinihntay q lng matapos time q ehehe
jake duque: loveyou
jake duque: ok right spelling na haha
JA: haha lol
jake duque: nyeh
JA: hehe
JA: ui napapansin mo b humahaba buhok ko d? haha
jake duque: uhmm ok lng
jake duque: ako tagal humaba ee haha
JA: papagupitan ko ng onti haha
JA: ok n buhok mong ganyan
jake duque: wag na ok n yan
JA: bsta ayusin mo
jake duque: esh
jake duque: wag ka n magpagupit argh
JA: ay
JA: cge d n pla
jake duque: oo tama yan pangkain nlng natin ung pang haircut mu hehe
JA: haha lol
jake duque: pra kewl dv
jake duque: haii i miss you
JA: hehe
jake duque: sayang d ka makakapunta s mini concert eshh
JA: gustuhin ko man d nmn ako papayagan
jake duque: ok lng yan kesa pagalitan ka hehe
JA: yes
jake duque: be a good ate haaha
JA: oo nmn nu
JA: ambait ko nga
jake duque: good
jake duque: tlga lng huh
JA: kaya madali sila utusan
JA: haha
jake duque: haha 3mins nlng
JA: sa thrsday ha
jake duque: ahh yes after ng class q teka s cosmo n tau magkit a kc dadaan ako ng TWR nun ee
JA: e may praktis kmi nun e
jake duque: so panu un?
JA: sunduin mo n lng ako hehe
JA: tapos diresto n tau dun
jake duque: saan nanaman?
JA: para walang angal mga kasama ko
jake duque: san ang praktis nyo
jake duque: cge lng
JA: baka dun din sa sunshine
JA: or ewan e
JA: txt mo ko
jake duque: mahirap un
jake duque: eshh
jake duque: wala bang specific place nlng
JA: d ko nmn kasi controlled sila
jake duque: cge ttxt ako huh mag reply ka huh
jake duque: hehe
JA: yes sir
jake duque: ok boss
jake duque:
JA:
jake duque:
JA: ingat ka jake
jake duque: ingat ka din nu
jake duque: dont worii about me
jake duque: ok
jake duque: bbye
JA: bbye
JA: love you
jake duque: loveyou 2
Last message received on 2/27 at 2:27 PM

bring it on... back

Dancing, to me, is a sport, the only one that I’m good at, the only one that I know.

Tomorrow will be the first special Saturday for me not to wake up 2-3 am, to dress up fast to catch up with my 4 am call-time. I will no longer spend the early hours of tonight to prepare my costume for tomorrow’s event; instead, I will be preparing clothes, not for costume, but for laundry day.

Thousands of people are here to celebrate and to watch, what I was before competitive as I anticipate dancing. I was walking with JE on my way home earlier and I envy, as much as I disgust way before, the people and all the preparations for tomorrow. I envy them like crazy. And then I realized, I still want to be a performer.

I was a performer. I once dreamt of doing this my whole life because I know I’m actually good at it. But something made me think that performing isn’t me; rejection. I got this over my head already, I have totally moved on but is this normal to feel?

I remember spending my money on costumes, counting “5, 6, 7, 8…”, exposing my body in a frying pan while I glance and run, screaming for props, costumes, instructions, counts, steps, making face at my mentors back while she seriously give funny and cliché lines to us, dance, perform, dance.

But all these are gone. I am now accounting not the performance’s financial positions but learning it instead. My name is now written in a tarpaulin not for achieving artistic excellence but for academic excellence. I am now holding handbooks and big books, not scripts and wavers.

And now I conclude, I want to bring back the performer in me.