Monday, December 31, 2012
I slept like 5 am finishing Rooftop Prince, which was good btw. (I don’t care if people think its corny haha) and it’s New Year’s Eve! Too bad I feel more sober than excited. But Hey! This happens once a year haha!
I wasn’t assigned for any food preps today so I took the chance to rest but I feel bad cause I’m seriously not helping anyone haha! But I’m here infront of my computer sooo.. (whatever)
Yesterday’s message at my church has been one of my favorites. Truly the Lord’s been talking to me through His word these past few days and this time I just feel so close to Him and still wanting more.
With failure, GOD gains our attention.
2012 has been not the greatest year for me. actually it’s one of the worst. My spiritual life wasn’t stable, I never had a consistent ministry, I haven’t gotten into the Dean’s List and I broke up with my boyfriend (which I still feel like a bad thing when its not)
So yeah, my 2012 is a fail. But that really got my attention
As I received salvation, I made God control my life. All these failures came from my decisions and so events came in with the permission of God. So where does salvation come in? God only allows event s to happen that are good for us. God wanted me to learn, to grow, to be stronger and to inspire others as I take on the challenges. It sounds easier said than done. That’s right. But what other choice do I have? Things happen already and the best thing to do is to keep a good grip on faith.
What I learned really in 2012?
If you have a BIG GOD, you have small problems. If you have a small God, you have BIG problems.
It sounds very cliché, but we seriously have to remind ourselves how great the impact of this truth is.
I know I should be blogging about what happened this year, about New year’s Resolutions or about what we prepared for New Year’s eve haha, but I want to end this year the way the Lord wants me to think.
Jesus heals, brings new beginnings and has a business of rebuilding lives.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Saturday, December 29, 2012
This morning my uncle left their keys of the house to us. I was having a hard time deciding whether to go out or not but since I feel for the Lazy song today, I decided to get the keys and crush into their house and do my dark knight marathon there with my sister but right before we started part 2, her wife, Tita Sheila came back sooner than we expected. That was soo awkward. She said it was okay. Of course it wasn’t! Anyway we stayed for a while just not to make it more obvious and left.
This day has been soo boring.
I’m also contemplating whether to deactivate my facebook account, since I see it for no use anymore. Also, I’m still not using my phone and planning on not using it anymore till… well till I pull myself back.
But I think it’s stupid so I’m just challenging myself now to stay idle from social networking but keep up with tweeting since no one’s reading them anyway.
So right now, I’m currently reading Perks of Being A Wallflower. I know, finally right? I feel so left out. Anyway, I got my not-good-book first impression on this but I’m still finishing it. Hope I also get to download the movie tonight.
~I know, soo dull..
Thursday, December 27, 2012
I am done
All enclosed stage show
Dense has bent part of my moral fiber
I made him use me
Every part of me
I notioned it was glee
But it just seemed to be a cycle
And of course this is where I stand
The bottom of his circle
Will I go up and join his misleading scenery again?
Is there gonna be another of this?
Please make it stop, the agony
He has fooled you again
He’ll always do it to you
How can a Man of God be like that to you?
When all he did was like a plot of the enemy
You loved him
You cared for him
You believed in him
You provided for him
You gave in to him
I mean everything
What a waste
But I must not think like that
No, no I mustn’t
He is not my enemy
I kept myself with it
He must not know what he’s doing
Moreover, it wasn’t meant
I just wanted it to happen
And stopped trusting the Most High
I must seek wisdom
I must grow strength
I must die
I must let Him take over once and for all
I must stop
I must believe
I must be patient
I must be faithful now more than ever
Monday, December 24, 2012
How can I love a jerk and see myself get hurt on Christmas eve… so stupid.
It’s like I rode on a Jeep realizing, after a long journey that I got in the wrong one. And that I didn’t know where else to go and that you just had to go on with it cause there’s nothing else you can do but to wait where its going.
It’s that feeling when you’re stuck on the trip. It’s that feeling when you’re stuck in an emotion. It kills.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
I have this weird theory on the rain.
Baguio has always been one of the rainiest places here in the country. We have this theory that every time he comes back to Baguio, the sun shines really bright. Well, there were many instances that happened. But now I have another hypothesis to that.
Last June, the month we decided to officially break up, was perfectly sunny until we were clear on what’s happening already. A few days after, it started raining until the typhoons came running in to Philippines. I won’t forget because I remember I was very active in my org then when our activities were moved due to those typhoons.
After 5 months of chasing each other back together and eventually falling apart, it started raining again in Baguio the last time he talked to me about liking some other girl. After a few days, I got the news from him that he’s having his internship here in Baguio. Funny because exactly on the day he came here, it was the start of again the sunny days in my place. Odd? Yeah. But there’s more.
Yesterday, we again decided to just let go of whatever said relationship we had and go on without each other. Today, it started raining again in Baguio… J
Maybe it shines every time he comes back here because that would mean a chance for us to be happy together. I thought, every time we fight or just decide to end our past relationship, the sun wouldn’t shine for us.
So people of Baguio, I’m sorry if we get you confused of the weather because of our weird relationship. Do not worry. I’ll get another reason for the sun to shine. Soon.