Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Today is MY first 10th

I had to finish our IT project in 3hours today, and i did. I have to finish two chapters in accounting, I haven't yet. But I must say, blogging an entry for this day must be the most difficult one.

I'd say I'm too much affected by our almost-very-obvious break-up though we haven't talked over it yet. I don't like to blog anything about what I feel with him cheating on me and not a word reaching me. I didn't like the feeling, not at all. But I'm still facing it, I am without him.

The wind keeps me still with the feeling. The annoying sun didn't even help in putting up the optimism. I don't like to describe the feeling because it hurts even more when I admit it to myself.

The guys who tries to impress me didn't even had an effect on me. I'd still think of him as a huge part of my heart, that I'm losing it.

He's like a petal that kept me as the flower, the most beautiful one. But as they say, good things never last. I knew the fact that sooner or later, that petal should fall away from me. The thing that hurts most is the way I am after being left by my petal.

Cliche as it seems, I have to move on. But it's a process. I know it is.

Today should have been our last 10th together in this town. I should have been anticipating this. But instead, I'm trying to runaway from the date, the calendar, from writing it down to my notes and papers, from facing this day with the most difficult emotion. I'd say it's bitterness but I still won't accept it.

I still love him and today is the first 10th of my life without him saying "I love you" to me.

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