Updates

I didn't have the chance to get back with RJ because my heart said it was unfair for Jen, now his ex-girlfriend.

That day we were suppose to talk about clarifying things about us

well

it'll all end up to getting back together I thought

Melanie set me up on a date with Jake

That day I expected to have a boyfriend again

but I thought it's gonna be RJ

yet

I still fell for Jake.

So yeah

me and Jake are on again

People should think I'm stupid

I think I am

But Hell I care

Now

I know I love Jake but

I really don't trust him

I do regret

sometimes when I see Jake hitting on other girls

(at least this time not on my face)

I sometimes think

I deserve something...

someone better

But that chance was already given up

when I decided to give my whole life to Jake since last year of April

I'm still hurting. And I wish RJ knew how hard it is for me.

Hurting...

Why can't I be enough for Jake when I was everything RJ could have ever wanted...

Why can't they have same hearts to relate with mine

I'm not asking for RJ's perfection to be imitated by Jake

I want him to feel the same for me as RJ did

I love Jake, that I want myself to feel

But what about RJ?

I know he's hurting but what else can I do

I'm stuck with Jake

forever I'll be

I want to be

I want him to be

but not like this

I just wish this was easier