Friday, November 9, 2012

Another Possibility

This is like, the high-school-me blogpost :DD

I like romance. A lot…

I don’t think if the subject of this blogpost is appropriate for now because I am, what I think, in the middle of a heartbreak, but I’m gonna blog about it anyway =))

Sssooooo there’s this guy from the church :DDD

It’s not the same guy (I’m probably the only one who gets this line). He’s actually been there for years now and I haven’t noticed him until now. Maybe because I know he’s in a relationship and so did I (before, of course). I mean, I’ve always been attracted to those kinds of people because I know I can’t do what they do, so I’m interested. He’s not really cute. If I didn’t like him for my personal reasons of being attracted to him, I must say he’s just some random good guy on nice shoes.  In the service early tonight, I just looked at him (though I was thinking of this when we were together last month). He’s quite some guy. No sparks (LOL). It’s just, there’s something that hit me that he can be someone to me.

But I am closer to GOD now more than ever. I read I kissed dating goodbye and I believed in it. I know better now. If I were to engage in such a thing as romance, I know what to do now.

I like summaries.

Point #1. I admit it, I like him.

Point#2. Is this from God? He knows exactly how I feel about my failed relationship. And it’ll stay like this for a long time. He knows that. And I also know that having this new thing would help in my memory deduction and really move on.

Point#3. Assuming that he’s already a “party” in my life, it would still be impossible because (a) we’re both on the peak of our ministry and (b) he, as much as I know it, is still with his current girlfriend (which is not good because I’ve know myself for being prone to insecurities) and lastly (c) I’m not sure if I’m ready to open my vulnerable heart to such risk again.

Point#4. Or am I just using him? Lying to myself that something like this exists just so I can run away from the thoughts of my ex now pursuing someone (which really gives this literal heart ache which sucks so bad every time I think of it). If I was, then this is wrong and I’m, again, fooling myself.

Romance really is fun. But not everything that I think would help me in my situation would say it came from God, or it was an answered prayer from God (uhhh I do remember praying for it before)

But like what I said, prayer is the only key. Whatever I’m in right now, I’m rest assured that I gave up my life to the Lord and I totally packed up down to my destiny.


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