I can never be so sure.
I needed him as much as I need to breathe.
But as the time went on,
I realized what I needed most
was to survive our situation,
to love him even in distance in consideration
to trust him despite his world I’ve never intended to enter.
I am very sure that I love him and that I can’t continue on living with losing him.
sandali na lang, malapit na ako. Magsasama na tayo.
My best friend Melanie just left me that morning. The agony didn’t give me a mark because I anticipated too much on the chance of spending time with my Jake.
I waited for almost two hours in the terminal. But I wasn’t very impatient. I have the Marilyn Monroe book, taking the advantage of reading it because I know I can’t put my attention on it while I’m with Jake.
I was almost stunned to see him in front of me. He gave me a hug that I longed for how long and then the kiss I was dreaming about almost every night when he’s far away.
We spent the whole day together. We went out only to eat. We tried on our night plans of roaming Baguio but we only found ourselves back home and enjoyed myself staring at him, cuddling and taking advantage of him sleeping. He had a good sleep, basing it on his snore, which made me stay up all night :))
Masaya akong pumapasok sa mundo mo, mas lalo ko lang nararamdaman na iisa lang tayo.
I woke him up imitating the way he always does in interrupting my sleep. I didn’t have about morning breath, I know that’s the first thing I’d do for this morning that I will always keep in mind when all these are over. And I do.
We went to church together, hand in hand. i love the way he speaks of me as his girlfriend without hesitation. For most of the time, I always stare at him and just realize how in love I am with this guy. I’d cry only because I am very happy to have him love me back.
I finished my class in SOL in my church and went straight to him. Unfortunately, I had to be back home so I didn’t spend that night with him.
As the day ended, I was quite terrified because I know; he’ll be leaving the next morning.
Talaga naming you’ll do anything for love ano? Maghahanap ng kahit anung paraan para makasama ka lang.
I woke up 4 in the morning to cook breakfast for my siblings but intentionally to cook also for my Jake. I went to him 7 in the morning to find he was still sleeping. Of course I had to interrupt. We watch the game and the movie awards together. We were almost quarrelling about the remote but I actually found that very sweet.
We roamed around Session Road and SM until we met with Ptr. Alvin for Jake’s recording gig requested by his church when we went there yesterday. That was the first time we went out together without having a single cent with us but the best part was, we were together and we didn’t spend anything, not even fare.
After his recording, we roamed around SM making memories, doing our favorite hubby – looking for free tastes haha till we decided to meet with my mom and then again, we didn’t spend on our dinner.
He was suppose to leave Baguio this day but of course neither of us want that yet so he ask Ptr. Alvin earlier to accommodate him at his church for the night. And he did. That night, he stayed in his church postponing his leaving. That day, we had fun and I realize to what extent he can do just to be with me, and that I was even more in love with him.
I imagined this once and so it’s happening.
We were suppose to meet 8.30 in the morning but I woke up late there was no one in the house so I invited him to come over for breakfast thinking my father wont be home until noon so we stayed for a while. After breakfast while watching Nanny MacPhee, we suddenly heard his footsteps outside and I was terrified he might think of something else upon seeing Jake in his house so Jake ran up to the stairs towards my room with his house.
We stayed in my room for more or less 6 hours waiting for him to leave. He left the house while we were sleeping so when I woke up, we hurried to get out of the house. That was indeed quite a rush.
I didn’t regret much because I was with him once again in my room.
We met with my mom once again and had dinner with Tito Noel and then going back home together. This time, no more hiding :D
I am very happy that we are still trying on any ways for him to stay. Our money ran down to 700, to include his fair. There are no other choices for us. This is his last night in Baguio for now…
Isipin mo na lang kasala na tayo.
Hinding hindi kita iiwan, mahal kita, hindi ko nakakayanin.
Magsasama din tayo….
I know waking him up without a kiss will be a burden to me. I was almost guilty for not coming to school for 2 days now so I know I have to be there. But I can’t take the chance of being with him for granted so, we both went to my school as an opening for me for one of the heaviest semester I’d have, with him.
This, I think is the last time he’ll ever enter my school and weird because for those many times he can enter the school with his fake ID, this time he was caught. I was the one who regret the most on his ID. I always wanted to keep that.
So we were in school on our last day together, it sucks to have it this way. We were still thinking of ways of how he can stay but we’re all out of options, he has to leave.
We went back home for his things and then SM again making more memories.
We ate at our favorite place and looked for his “taking-my-boyfriend-away-from-me” bus and by 7, he had to leave.
I tried my best not to cry but as he kisses me I feel like a huge pipe in my eyes is about to explode with tears. I waited until the bus left and then, as my usually scene, I walked session road raining and now without him.
I feel stupid because the agony was like he was totally gone. I tried to convince myself that this is only for a short time and so, I had to stop crying.
It was weird because his whole stay, the sun was up and only now that he left, the whole sky was gloomy as I was.
The original plan was for him to stay one night here in Baguio for his birthday and then went on for 5. I am still very happy for having one of the best days of my life with him. but I am missing him more and more as the days pass by.
My subject and related instructor are indeed making it hard for me but I’m making myself busy as the time passes by.
He may be far away from my now, but who would ever thought we’d make an effort on working this out. i, for one, am sure that I love him and that I cant take the possibility that this might be over soon. I cant imagine him loving someone else as I cant imagine myself with someone else. I want him. I don’t want anything in the world but him.
**he left me with this note in my phone.
.hey babe we wont b seeing each odr fd idunno hw many months imsurely gona miss u a lot.irily dnt wnt to leave but wla n taung pera eh.sad db.i love u so much babe w8 fr me ha and mg uSap tau everyday tx,tawag,and skype.babe try nt to b so pretty wyl im gone ayt.d n kta iiwan babe coz dt wud b a very s2pd decision at wla ndn akong balak na mkipaghwalay sau kea mainggt nlng ung mga fans naten hahaha.jst rmembr dt ur very strong u have God and I will go home to u soon ayt.i will also try to c u as many tymS as possible ayt.ur d best wife evr God gave me a gr8 partnr in lyf and im so thankful about it babe and I wont stop loving u as in I love u I wil miss u a lot babe I’ll miss ur kiss ur hug ur warmth and evrythnp u knw wt I mean teehee I love u so much babe as in no othr guys allowd ayt! Hahaha I love u jully amme duque mwah! And oh wg k mxado kakain ng sweets ha I love u so much babe!