Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Stage 4: Tolerance

This entry is gonna be very broad.

My boyfriend, Jake, seems to be at his worst state as a boyfriend.

I do have to understand that he’s busy and all (kahit naman nung hindi siya busy, he's still taking me for granted), but I see it unfair kasi naman hindi lang siya ang napapagod sa mundo. Hindi ko na kailangang ipaintindi sa kanya na mabigat ang sem na ito para sa akin, and the fact is obvious that I am in deep depression for losing Melanie and Shadows. But despite all that, I still manage to be the same in approach to him. I still text him in the middle of my studying hours. I even find ways to talk to him between my class hours kasi alam kong kapag free time nya, he’ll only consider sleeping instead of talking to me while me, on the other hand, would do anything to catch his free time. But I still fail. He’s bored of me kaya mas pipiliin niya na lang matulog, kung natutulog man siya.

He’s also very demanding. Hindi naman sa sobra akong nagrereklamo. I just thought, he could be a little more considerate about me when all he thinks siya lang ang in state of recession knowing na siya ang rason kung bakit hindi na ako nagtututor at sumasayaw which was before my source of financial needs. Hindi niya naiintindihan yon. Kahit kelan hindi niya sinubukang intindihin ako.

I feel bad kasi ayokong magsawa sa kanya. Kaya ko naman magtiis pero lahat nang bagay may hanganan. Last night, I was praying n asana bigyan pa ako ni Lord ng patience but I thought, hindi imposibleng maubusan ako nun kasi alam kong sarili ko n lng sinasaktan ko.

I wish someone was here to talk to me about these things.

sana, siya din ang gumawa ng paraan para ayusin to... kung hindi man, mukang alam ko n ang kalalabasan...

ayoko ng break-up. gusto ko ng refresh

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