Wednesday, December 15, 2010

10-min goodbye

The Lord never gives me something I can’t handle.

It may be cliché but I felt that today. The Lord is shaping me and until now, I’m still in such a starter level. I still find it hard for me to lead me heart, but I’m really trying and holding on to that.

Last night was a tough night with me and my mom. We had this fight and I do admit that it was my entire fault. I kept on crying for the cutting words they uttered. I couldn’t help but to get livid at my parents, but then, my friend, Charmain texted me. She, I think, is in the same situation. She was asking me if she can stay with us this Christmas because she hated her parents that bad. I felt like the Lord talked to me or something. He reminded me of His love. I continued crying not because of their continuous words, but I just had to pour it all out to Jesus. In my playlist was “By Your Side”. That’s when I can’t stop crying.

This morning was like a continuation of last night’s clash. I kept myself strong for I knew I was going to face another drama.


He’s been in my mind for the past few days. Today was the last day I saw him for this year. This year actually had been one of the best years of my life and I’d say he was one of the reasons. Sad that it didn’t end quite the way it did last year.

It was far from drama. We met in like, less than 10 minutes? I knew I should have asked him if he had classes later after we met but I was scared of being rejected again. I just let it all pass. I would regret but I thought, there’s nothing I can do about it.

I’m still sticking on my plan of separating myself from him for a while, maybe until my birthday. But I don’t know. This doesn’t make sense anymore.

Anyway, I’m good with my family now. It’s just him that bothers me. What would happen next to us?

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