Thursday, November 26, 2009

11-26-09 the traunt and his pride

Blood. I woke up with one of my biggest fear. I looked for the tissue paper with my eyes closed. I really hate it when I this scene come in, especially when people see me with this. Two consecutive nights, I dreamt about him. But because of the astonishment that opened my morning, I forgot all about it.

10:30-11:30 break, I opened my mail for a while, checking champ’s post about the glorietta gig. I haven’t seen any of his latest posts instead I was shocked about R’s offline message. I think it’s gonna be too exposed if I would blog his exact words but generally, it was all about his worries about my health. (Melanie just can’t shut her mouth about the nosebleed thing). He just cant stop bugging me, in a nice way though. He really internalized that “kuya” role. I was invisible (in ym). I didn’t think about what would be the time there but I replied “I’m fine, you’re not in the right place to worry, thanks for your concern though”. (looks like he’s gone really fluent now, he cant speak straight tagalong already). After a few seconds, he then replied. I should’ve known he always appear invisible to catch me, ugh. As expected, we ended our conversation with an unsolved fight. He can’t listen, or even believe everything that I say. And to look at the situation, I don’t even find any reason why I still entertain his nonsense (rude much?). The worst part was when he started insulting Jake. I mean, he doesn’t even know my guy yet he talks like a father who kept on insisting he’s like everyone else. Very insulting in my part of course, he even dared to infuriate Jake, which scared me a bit. He’s always been so competitive at times, and as well as I know about Jake, its either he keeps quiet or never give up on a “talk-insulting-and the like” fight. (I mean, they won’t see each other so I guess no violence). I mean, talking about violence, I cant imagine them both physically hurting each other. It’s a nice concept though, to be the reason hahah! Joke!. But seriously, I don’t want ANY fight at all. If Ralph meant what he said, I’d never let that happen.

Before going home, I stopped by the net shop. I was worried he might have started bugging Jake already. but I realized I didn’t know Jake’s YM password so I cant stop Ralph. Fortunately, Jake’s OL. I asked him and he said no, whew, big relief. I was still irritated this afternoon. Lots of reasons actually, in school, with my friends (or friend), Ralph's drama. But im very happy about Jake’s “presence”. Plus, he knew what time I would come in online. Very sweet. Hehe.

I brought up the whole Ralph's bugging plan, as expected he won’t give up on Ralph’s taunt. I tried to convince him about ignoring his words though they will be very potent especially when he starts to speak of it like in debate. He’s really creative with coming up with such prevailing words. That’s what I’m scared of. And the thing that’s really very humiliating is that I know Ralph more than I know Jake. But I guess the time span would explain that. Anyway, I’ve been thinking and I think (?) Ralph won’t do it anyway. He knows how affected I can be whenever a person I love would be hurt. It maybe over reacting or worst. I know he thinks right for my sake.

But not in relation with Ralph. I saw Jake’s pride. I don’t know how to think about it whether that would be positive or negative. Though we have this commitment already, I'm still trying to go deeper in him to know every aspect of my boyfriend. But it’s nice to see one part of him. haha, can you just imagine Jake fighting for me hahahaha! That would be the sweetest thing, except the part where he gets hurt. I’d never like to see him struggle or whatever. Its gonna be very sweet though :DDDD

Haha and one last thing. Family of the other part can be very tough to handle. In other words, I cant meet his family without worries. Not that I’m already thinking about that always. He just mentioned that this afternoon hehe. Ralph’s family- I didn’t have the chance to meet the parents because of the R and J thing, though his sister really likes me. The first time I met her, I was all very anxious, worried about everything, but it was fine. As for Karl’s- I met her mom, she was nice, I think she likes me haha! She calls me whenever he’s really sad and does things she doesn’t like (maybe because the often reason would be a fight with me hehe). I also met his brothers. I didn’t feel fear because it was all a surprise but I felt a little conscious about my weird personality.

I don’t know with Jake’s. I feel more timorous about it, haha lets say, more love means more fear haha!

That’s it for the day. I hope tomorrow’s not gonna be a typical day for me. I can see, these days are getting boring.

Because I’m crazy for you…

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